Morning or Evening

Year 1987

The 60 day Annual leave was a fantastic way I can spend my time on all things which I love to do.

The morning cricket left me very tired. I Had a heavy lunch and slept. I brush only in the morning or in night before sleep.  I woke up and found that  it was cloudy. I went to bathroom, took my brush and started brushing.

My brothers were playing outside & they started giggling after seeing me. My brothers started teasing me & told that it was evening and not morning.

I couldn’t understand why the brain could not map the surrounding properly & prove whether it was morning or evening.

A tiring sleep, left me with this kind of experience.

Toilet Stories

Fear of catching up a contagious disease from the government’s well-maintained public toilets, I often control my urge to use them.

However, nature beats human control and forced me to use them many times in trains & fewer occasion in bus stops.

What I have observed

In the Doors

1) Enumerable Lyricists, who can easily find a job in B grade *wood movies.

2) Telephone directories carrying only female numbers, given there for cleaning off some vengeance.

3) Many artists who match the pictures resembling the sculptures and art work of Khajuraho.

In the toilet.

1) Saw a Tea vendor going into toilet with the TEA can. I stopped taking Tea in train from then on.

2) Alcohol Bottles. Children & Ladies mostly get annoyed by this.

3) In International Airport Mumbai, I have seen two foot prints on the toilet seat. Probably the persons did not know how to use the western toilet.

4) Condoms!. Huh, unable to think what had happened.

5) Instead of using their butt, they use the cigarette and leave the buts.

List continues…

Brothers & Sisters

Commuting in Cab for a 7 km in Bangalore takes almost 45 minutes. So many signals was testing everyone’s patience. Reduction of trees for “Namma Metro” project have left the city a bit hotter than its normal temperature.

To make the most of the 45 minutes, we cab mates chat,gossip & sometimes chew the fat with new mates. One day, I was over excited by the awards given to me in office & the enthusiasm came with me in cab too.

To make a funny statement, I exclaimed to a guy that “All Indians are my brothers & YOUR Sisters”.

He quickly did a math and replied, if all Indian are my brothers; He would be a brother of me & his sisters would be my sisters.

My mouth got zipped well for the next 6km commutation.

Brain Mapped

The Software engineering life gave me many pleasures. The new avatar had a protocol be followed. Swipe in at entering office. Swipe out when leaving office. I never carried a hand kerchief, because of comfortableness of using tissues.

The following are the common mistakes I often commit because of my alternation in mind.

1) Swipe in while entering home instead of using calling bell.

2) Sway hand before the normal water tap thinking it as electronic one.

3) Trying to switch (physical switch) off the monitor with the help of the mouse.

4) Often forget to close the normal taps. Thinking it would get stopped automatically.

5) Search hand towels(tissues) in home toilets & near wash basins.

6) Look for an internet café in remote villages.

My mistake List goes on…

Tummy Pain

Year 2003

Incapable of bearing my tummy pain, I went for diagnosis. The Ultra sound report revealed a possible ailment with the Kidney. I was under medication for couple of week which did not solve the problem.

The medical report had a disclaimer, which read that the report might not personify 100% true. It’s upon the patient’s interest to contact another diagnosis center for further analysis.

I went to my native & my grandma took me to the family doctor. Ultra sound scan exercise got done. The  doctor confirmed that I did not have any kind of ailment. But he was unsure about the tummy pain. Three tablets for 2 days was prescribed.the tablets did not solve the purpose.

Hearing there was no ailment I felt better. But the pain was unwilling to leave. By now the pain almost existed for 2 & half months.

Festivals are  to relieve our pain. For the upcoming  festival, I bought a nice Raymond trouser cloth.

I went to the famous tailor for whom I was a regular customer. Normally he doesn’t takes any measurements for existing customers. He refers his old documents & tailors it that way.

Today, some how he felt that he needs to re-measure. He was measuring the length,breadth & height. He answered that I need to increase my hip size by 2 inches or would get severe tummy pain, if I wear the pants that tight!